Slowly, I change, now

Yearning for what used to be

Everything’s strange now,

Can this really be me?

I look in the mirror,

And I see the same face,

But something is different

Maybe a change in the space

In between

Who’s to tell me

That who I see

Has anything to do with me?

No. Down with the mirror, no.

This illusion has to go

Only a picture,

The reflection is not who I am

My heart runs much deeper,

than this tangible hologram

I am not this body

I am detached

What you see here,

Is only the surface scratched.

A pool of thoughts,

An amassing of ideas,

Lies and truths,

Love and hate,

Passion and logic and

Secrets and knowledge and

Triumphs and mistakes and

curiosity

All of it is me,

Not this earthly body

I am greater than this shell

Though it has served me well

I need to see it no more

I already know the score

So down, down with the mirror, down.

Take it to the ground

Everyone gather round

And become who you were meant to be

(If only I could sing the things I hear in my head. Sadly, my voice is worthless)

I wait in grey

Until the day

That I will make you pay

For what was done

I abandon the sun

Till the day I’ve won

I wait patiently

Here where you cannot see

What has become of me

Remnants of the dead

Swirling round my head

Surrounded by grey, I only see red

Should I end it fast?

Or should I make it last?

I let out all the hate amassed.

Do not ask me to show you who I am

For you cannot see

Do not ask to hear me speak

My silence is eternal

Do not ask me why

You could never understand

Do not ask for me to help you

I will bring despair

Do not ask what happened

It has always been

Do not ask if you can save me

I can never rise to the light

I am darkness

Tears and heart so blue,

Blue as the text that defines you

You may think the world is falling,

But we’ll pull you through

So shit’s going down,

It’s nothing new.

You aren’t alone,

You have our little crew.

There a tear in your eye

And as hard as you try

You never can fly

With thoughts so heavy

Pulling you down,

You think you will drown,

But we’ll save you.

We’ll always save you.

So don’t worry,

Rest easy,

We are here.

We’ll hold you near.

Even if you can’t see it

We all will still believe it

You are beautiful

You are wonderful

So let your worries drift away

Just give yourself a day

Let yourself play

Trust me, there’s a way.

You never smile anymore,

Since you died you’re such a bore.

Before I walked through that door

And discovered you’re a whore

Now you just sit on your ass,

Eyes vacant like orbs of glass

You never want to go for a walk,

We always just sit and talk

No, you can’t leave the basement!

Part of your punishment is this placement.

Stop, I don’t want to hear this.

No more arguing, give me a kiss.

You should’ve known when you became my wife

We’d be together, longer than life.

Why did you have to cheat?

Why’d you force me to spill that blood so sweet?

I’ll put you in this dress of black,

And you’ll wait here till I come back

See you tonight, my dear.

I sit, lit by the light of desire,

thoughts burning, full of fire,

passion, excitement,

racing in circles and branches,

all the ‘could be’s and ‘should have been’s

endless branches of thought,

the universes cascading away in my mind

while I create them,

hoping to find

the right one,

the one where we’re together,

where I made all the right choices,

where you are next to me

but it could be..

maybe one day,

maybe soon,

it will be a reality

I guess I’ll wait and see.

But the waiting burns,

Dying thoughts give light,

Lighting my night

Like this pale blue screen,

pouring my emotions,

thoughts, dreams,

endlessly flowing into these keys

it never asks why, never says please

and yet this screen, the words it shows,

they can bring me to my knees.

Years of love, happiness, pain,

recorded forever, floating in the dark,

every emotion of every person

who ever dared to do it

to give themselves up to the screen

to let their soul out into the machine, if only for a moment

to make their voice heard,

or share their pain

just to get through it

this burning blue light,

The only light of the night,

Is the glow of today’s humanity.